Journal - Thursday

Up at the crack of dawn to take sister sub to the airport, i'm really going to miss her...but we're going to Skype so we can keep in touch.

Headed to the doctor after, it was my quarterly visit with my psychiatrist...no good news there, another med adjustment and added on an additional medication, it looks like this one might have the side effect of lowering my blood pressure, lovely, my BP is always low anyway so i guess i'll be light headed a lot of the time.  She gave me a couple of referrals for more cognitive testing in hopes that they can find a different diagnosis for the memory loss, neither of us is very optimistic.

Came home in a pretty crummy mood, lots on my mind and really not much of it good.  The movie "The Big Chill" came on, i've never seen it so i watched, yeah, that really helped my mood!  But i did love a line from the movie regarding post funeral receptions..."Amazing tradition, they throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come."  This got me started thinking...it was a year ago on the 10th of October when i became incredibly ill and was admitted to the ICU.  Eight days later i was discharged but then spent a couple more weeks on home IV therapy through a PICC line.  All in all i was lucky, i almost died...but when i look back it makes me think that i really need to get my shit together and do all the things i want to do, i wasted a lot of this last year, time spent in fairytale land,  i need to start looking forward, do the things i want and not take crap from anyone (other than Sir, of course!)  He has actually been pushing me in that direction, He has encouraged me to join the committee within our private group, encouraged me to aggressively find a female that i want to spend time with, and to become more active within our submissive network.

So, that's it for my crummy mood, pity party over.  We have a full weekend planned, a kinky happy hour Friday, a private group Halloween party on Saturday, and a rope social on Sunday.  i truly love the group of folks that we hang with and this weekend will be just what i need to lose the funk!  But for now, need to move on and watch the Cardinal game and make my shopping list for tomorrow.

Have a great night!