Journal - Tuesday---Road Trip!

Yep, there is snow!  Our girls only road trip!

Got everything squared away at home for Sir, food packaged up nicely so he wouldn't have to worry about preparing anything.  Sister sub and i left around 11:30 for our girls road trip...the ride wasn't too bad until we got about an hour from our destination and the heat went out on the truck.  Fortunately we found a guy in a small town who was at least able to get us heat, figures that we would be driving South and into snow, isn't that the opposite of what it should be? Isn't North supposed to be colder?

So i wrote earlier about a text that i got this morning that could very easily have pulled me into a situation that isn't healthy for me, a friend who bailed on me this summer got in touch to ask me not to talk bad about her on my blog, my suggestion being that maybe she should just stop reading, she said that she had but that a friend of her was passing along copies of my blog whenever she was mentioned.  i suggested that she ask that friend to stop, that she didn't really want to know and that my blog is my place, it is therapeutic outlet and that if this friend was really a friend that she would respect her decision to not read my blog.  From there the conversation became interesting, she told me how much she missed me, how much she needed a friend who understood the lifestyle as she went through some personal stuff things and how much her life had changed, how she felt like she had lost her best friend.  i felt like i was pretty much secondary to the conversation.  i really didn't know what to say, when this whole thing went down i was completely broken, it took me months to be anywhere near where i had been, the pain was unbearable and had she been local Sir probably would have killed her, he picked up the pieces and it was incredibly painful for him to see me that way.  i don't think she has any idea, how could i ever explain that, she kept her group of friends, the ones she had chosen over me, i guess they have scattered, i don't know.  What i do know is that i can't go back to that place with her, i can never allow myself to be that vulnerable again, that makes me sad, sad that the first person i opened myself up to would take advantage like that and sad that i will never allow anyone (other than Sir, obviously) that close to me again.  And yes, i'll say it, i miss her like crazy, i miss the relationship we had, i miss having that best friend too but we are obviously not good together.

i have no idea if this will be communicated to her, i really feel that if her friend is any kind of friend, she'll leave it be, i'm sure she doesn't want to know what the texts we exchanged this morning prompted.  Seriously, i had deleted her info from my phone and it took me a few minutes to even figure out who she was.  i'm sorry that she is having a difficult time, i would not wish that on anyone, i'm really not that kind of person.  And i do apologize for being all emo tonight, but honestly this is why i started my blog, i needed a place to vent and receive suggestions on how to deal with things better.  Thanks for listening to me rant, i love you guys!


Have a great night!