Ok, so i'm going to try to journal just a little bit each day...so, today's thoughts are on pulling yourself back up and getting on with life. i gave myself a full week to wallow in self-pity, in retrospect that was too long, i was at an incredible low earlier today, Sir made me sit down and really think it out. i think i'm more upset because i'm lonely more than i am at the lost relationship, of course that doesn't say much for the person that i thought i loved.
But we live and learn and i've learned that i don't need a placeholder in my life, someone to spend idle hours discussing lies, because much of what we had talked about, looking back, was make believe, and we actually didn't have much in common. Our value systems were very different and i compromised mine to stay in the relationship, was that smart, hell no, but i've learned from that.
So i'm looking at this as a new beginning, a chance to grow in my submission and to branch out in the real world and to spend less time in a cyber relationship that was never going to be more. Tomorrow is a new day, we have plans with lifestyle friends on both Friday and Saturday and i'm going to put myself more out there with them, and stop fantasying about an unreal relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment