Clarification Cuddle

After we played the other night we did some cuddling and had a long talk.  Sir wanted to make it clear that he had not told me that i couldn't express my bisexual side, just that he was concerned because of my last relationship and how difficult that was for me when it ended.  He explained that he thinks that i love so completely (hence the fact that we have been together for 34 years) and that i'm just not prepared to take on a relationship where that isn't true of my partner.  i took a day to process that information and i think he's right, sometimes i forget just how smart he is!  When i become involved again i'm going to need to really take a long hard look at that person's relationship history.  The ex had a very unstable history and had i really thought about that i would have been able to see the "writing on the wall".  He asked me to take down the previous posting on this subject since i really did misunderstand what he was trying to tell me.

So, moving slow is what i'll need to do, and probably putting more credence to Sir's opinion, because he knew that things would end poorly with the ex but i just wouldn't believe it.  Lesson learned.

i also had a realization when we played, a big part of my kink is being restrained, now i know that isn't unusual but i think it is rather interesting considering i'm claustrophobic and you would think that it would bother me, maybe it does, maybe that's why it helps me get into my "space" but i find that when we scene and he chooses not to restrain me it is more difficult to let go.  Good to know!  And, yes, i got my ass beat well :-) and it was sooooo needed after the holidays and all the accompanying stress!


Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. 
Thomas Merton