My One (And Probably Only) Attempt at Mentoring

We have not been in the lifestyle long, 4 years more or less, but I am an avid reader and researcher so I feel like I have a pretty good handle on the basics.  At one point I was mentoring a brand new submissive, she had found a Dom online, although he was actually local, and they started seeing each other.  They started their relationship and she asked my advice on many aspects of their relationship and I gave her the best advice I could.  We shared the same demon, Bipolar, and were able to talk to each other about it with true empathy. 

After a couple of months she made a very bad choice in reference to her family and really started spiraling downhill.  I tried to give her advice and she kept choosing to ignore it.  She knew that her Dom was not being faithful, something that she was not will to accept, yet kept making excuses for why this “one time” she was going to forgive him.  After about five “one times” i told her that she needed to either accept it or move on, it was obvious he was not monogamous, her response to me was “you have no idea, your relationship is perfect!” at that point I stopped corresponding with her.  Obviously my relationship is not perfect, not by a long shot.  I truly don’t believe anyone’s relationship is.  After a couple of days she was messaging me to apologize, I was in the middle of dealing with pneumonia and trying like crazy to make it to Austin in a few days for an event so I sent a one line message that just said, “it’s fine”. 

While at the event I really thought about my interactions with her and decided that they had really become rather toxic, to both of us.  I was beating my head against the wall at every turn and she was really only using me to vent , I was no longer mentoring.  As Sir says, “How do you find such drama filled people to hook up with?”  And truly, he’s absolutely right.

A couple weeks later she sent me a message asking if we could get back to where we were. I simply told her that I didn't think our relationship was healthy for either of us and wished her luck.  

They have both dropped out of the local scene, he claimed to have a couple decades of experience but he had an extremely abrasive personality and honestly I never believed that he had that much experience, he just didn't have the polish of a seasoned Dominant.  He made people around him uncomfortable and was never really accepted anyway.  I have no idea if they are practicing  just dating, or if they are even together any longer.  I can say…my stress level dropped greatly after I stopped mentoring, I’m very bad about taking on the stress and drama of my friends, I keep my life relatively low key, if we have an issue we just talk it out immediately, we talk the big stuff (mostly the kid stuff) through, make a decision and provide a united front.  The other stuff I just defer to Sir’s choices.  It has worked for us for 28 years so I think we’ll continue to work this way.